Out Of The Shadows

There's this memory I can't stop thinking about from when I was 13. Laptop in hand, I was sitting inside while on vacation at a lake house with my cousins.

I'd just finished a voluntary summer computer science course to get a jump on things before starting high school that fall. So while my cousins were outside, I was inside trying out some of the new HTML I'd learned for building websites on my computer. For a bit, anyway. Because, on that same trip, we also paddled to the middle of the lake with a canoe to camp out on a deserted island.

It might seem peculiar, but I think I know the reason this is on my mind.

It became a bit clearer for me this morning. I was reading some of The Artist's Way. The thing that popped out was a section about "shadow artists." In her description of artistic recovery, author Julia Cameron describes shadow artists as the parts of ourselves we let get close to the thing we want without actually getting it. Think of the sports agent who secretly wants to be an athlete or the magazine editor who'd always dreamt of being a novelist. These are examples of getting close in proximity, but not in practice.

For me? This looked like becoming a marketing executive instead of starting my own media company. More specifically: configuring the "thing" rather than creating it.

Fast forward and I'm 31. Laptop in hand, I spent the week sitting outside while on a camping trip with my partner. I've just finished a summer of website configuration to get a jump on things before starting a new project this fall. So while Isobel and I were on the road, I was able to write, work on web projects with clients, and camp by the water.

That's why things seemingly popped into place for me this morning while reading. I was surprised to find it actually made me a little bit emotional. Because thinking about my own journey with shadow artistry, I realized that I'd finally made my way back to the version of myself that 13 year old me wanted to become.

How cool is that?

Our Daily MAP Year Prompt 
24/365

Take a moment to think back on your 13-year-old self... what parts of your current life are things you always dreamed of, even if they look a bit different than expected?

Make a list of what you do have before repeating this for the stuff you don't have (yet). Pick one thing you always dreamed of for yourself—what's one, small step you can take this month toward making it possible?

onward.
-dmac