I can't tell if I'm just a total curmudgeon or if social etiquette really has declined this much.

My doorbell doesn't ring that often.

I'm not even a little bit surprised by how fast things flipped.

I did a whoopsie and now I feel bad about it.

In a weird way, I feel like I'm losing a friend.

I catch sight of one of the art pieces hanging on the wall across from me and freeze.

I told myself I was just going for a walk.

I was standing in the grass and then I wasn't.

Some people just plunge ahead into the road and trust the folks in the cars to adjust.

I heard they have a new pill for treating skepticism. I’m not buying it…

"I don't like space!"

"Coming from somewhere fun?"