Creating clarity through chaos.
I made an absolute mess and it made things so much more clear.
I'd entered the kitchen and immediately froze—
Coffee.
Coffee everywhere. It was overflowing at the base of the machine and raining down from the counters with a graceful defiance that felt almost taunting.
That tracks.
After an early morning at my desk I'd needed to refuel. It was lunch time and I'd wandered to the coffee maker, lost in thought. Last night, after a pretty off-day, I'd been wrapping up a few things when I reached for my phone. Not in the subliminal "time to scroll" type of way, though. This had been deliberate.
Still, I'd started typing before I really knew what I was doing. It made sense to my hands even if my head wasn't quite with the program yet. So I let them keep going. When I re-read what I'd written, thumb hovering over the send button, I had to admit: it sounded pretty good. I liked it.
Since I want to further evolve The Unobstructed platform to include a formalized publication, with both print and online editions, the text had been to a friend. The gist of what I'd floated was almost inevitable; the signs have been pointing this way for quite some time... still, it felt good to claim it by naming it.
I'd asked if they'd consider taking on a column.
Small steps.
So, when I'd returned to the kitchen at lunch today to retrieve my coffee, I'd discovered it spewing across the counter and onto the floor. It'd taken all of about two seconds to realize what happened... I'd forgotten to change the settings and brewed a whole pot into a 12 oz mug. I felt a jolt of frustration. Just as quickly, I exhaled and forced myself to think about it: I'd done this to myself.
I'd been moving too fast and not paying attention—my mind swirling with updates to the site I'd been working on. I figure if I can add just a couple of columnists, we can build enough of a voice to field submissions. Then we can curate a kickass quarterly edition to print.
Sitting down at my desk with a fresh cup of coffee, I thought back on how rattled I'd felt yesterday. And then I smiled when I realized the mess led to this discovery.
I'd spent the morning decoupling myself from The Unobstructed. Well, and adding some clarifying language in a few key spots. Part of believing in yourself and the stuff you care about is making things clear enough to claim.
And I've been burying that a bit.
When I started writing this post, I felt I still needed to find the story. I'd uncovered some big things but didn't want to just list them like project updates. So I wrote a poem before writing the story itself. And it helped quite a bit.
Here's what I came up with:
Clean Caffeine
by Derek MacDonald
Coffee everywhere.
Moving too fast.
Wanted a cup.
Brewed a carafe.
Puddles and pools.
Swirling too hot.
Drip to the floor.
Collected in thought.
Ideas intersecting.
Clean ing, then clear.
Cemented new thoughts.
Taking shape ...here.
Our Daily MAP Year Prompt
110/365
Do you make the stuff you believe in clear enough to claim?
onward.
If you're interested, you can check out some of the decoupling changes I made to peel my "work self" out of the platform:
- Updated homepage.
- New about page.
- Resurrected personal site.