Greet each day deliberately.
Cold, dark mornings make me feel the most like myself. Yes, I realize that could use a bit of clarification.
I'd shivered while shuffling across the kitchen in my slippers today. It made me smile. Filling the reservoir of my coffee maker at the sink, I'd looked out across the neighborhood. It was covered in darkness, except for the snowglobe-pockets of flurried light made by the street lamps. With the smell of oaky chocolate wafting through the air and mixing with the gurgling of the bean juice machine, I was caught in memories while waiting for the coffee to be ready.
I became a morning person because I'd had to—that's not how I naturally operate. When I was a kid, I could sleep until noon before groggily (and reluctantly) joining the ranks of the living. I just always felt like I was playing catch up... running behind, and forgetting things while scrambling to get wherever I'd needed to be.
Surprising even myself, I'd smiled slightly while making my way toward my desk. I'd cupped the fuming mug with both hands gratefully. Swiveling in my chair, I reached for my book. Solemnly, I'd exhaled the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.
Years later, I'd frequently get up at 3-4am to go hike up a mountain with my snowboard and ride down with the sunrise. This morning while sitting in my warm office, I pictured the biting breeze of a sub-zero morning in the Tetons chomping at my face; skin screaming beneath frozen mustache hairs covered in rime ice. I'd thought about how alive those mornings made my senses feel while the rest of the world was still asleep.
Blinking, I'd looked back down at the mug in my left hand. My right was still placed atop my book. I stayed paused there thinking about it: I used to get up early to try to outrun the day. Maybe, even, myself. Now, I greet these cold, dark mornings slowly but deliberately so I can spend some time with myself and be present throughout the rest of the day... that way I don't have to worry about feeling behind with anything or anyone.
Our Daily MAP Year Prompt
98/365
Where do you feel most like yourself? Why?
onward.
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