Embracing creativity amidst criticism.
Today, while sitting in a coffee shop with rain splattering the windows, I thought back on this past month—on the things I wrote, on all I'd done, and on what I'd felt while writing about all of it.
In my right hand I held a highlighter, using my left to press down the spine of the open book to make for a cleaner mark on the page.
For those following along, we're coming to the end of month three of the MAP Year project, where I'm creating these daily snippets for a full year in an effort to prioritize my life-long dream of writing full-time... but while also navigating the realities of work, life, and the digital infrastructure needed to do such a thing.
I pushed the book away from me slightly, reaching instead for the mug of still-warm, but not-quite-hot black coffee. Taking a swig, I glanced down at the lines I'd just highlighted.
"The criticism that damages is that which disparages, dismisses, ridicules, or condemns. It is frequently vicious but vague and difficult to refute."
- Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way
In addition to the many books I've collected and consulted on my MAP Year journey so far, The Artist's Way is actually stitched into my plan for this project. It's a book on recovering and reconnecting with creativity and it's divided into 12 chapters. So, I'm working through a chapter for each month of the year, which means this month I've been focused on "Chapter 3: Recovering A Sense Of Power" (Ch. 1 was "Recovering A Sense Of Safety" and Ch 2. was "Recovering A Sense Of Identity").
One of the main themes this month was navigating criticism.
Holding on a bit tighter to my coffee, I thought about the creative swings I've been taking this month. Then I thought back on this whole year. After forcing myself to take a few deep breaths, I exhaled and reminded myself that the voice in my head telling me I'm not good enough, or that something's too cringy, isn't even my own—it's just a parrot of those in my life who've made a habit of hurling insults often.
It made me think of something I'd written about Brené Brown and a talk she gave referencing Teddy Roosevelts famous, "Man In The Arena" quote.
“If you're not also in the arena getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feedback.”
- Brené Brown
Something I've found particularly helpful over the years is strengthening the muscle that helps discern feedback from criticism.
Still holding onto my coffee, I scanned the writing in my past work; both cringing and forcing myself to lower my stress-hiked shoulders. Offering myself some compassion is something I really struggle with. I think it's rooted in this whole criticism thing... but I'm trying hard to embrace it anyway.
Looking around the coffee shop, I pictured myself at the other tables where I'd sat writing at different points throughout the year. Even I had to admit: I'm in the arena. I've been here, time and again, while trying out countless formats, ideas, publishing cadences and so much more. I've looked at criticism when it shows up. I've listened for feedback. And then I've decided what to do with it.
Each and every time, I've kept writing.
As Julia writes in Chapter 3, "creativity is the only cure for criticism."
Our Daily MAP Year Prompt
87/365
What would it sound like if your inner voice encouraged instead of criticized? Try it.
onward.
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