Putting Down The Shovel

Apparently, most people don’t think about their thinking quite like this.

For starters, I'm running up a fairly steep hill in the rain; which is something I used to think only crazy people did. So either my circumstances have changed or now I'm crazy, too... who's to say.

Still, lately I've been thinking about how much I think about my thinking.

So, as I'm huffing and puffing and blinking droplets of rain out of my eyes, I'm actively trying not to ask myself why I've been thinking so much about the amount of thinking about my own thinking that I do.

Thinking about my thinking is something I've done since I was little. Plenty of us do it to some extent. If you've ever asked yourself "why—WHY—did I say that??" after an especially awkward interaction, congrats—you're in good company.

I recently heard Brené Brown and Adam Grant talking about this thinking about thinking dilemma (aka meta cognition). They just started a new podcast together called The Curiosity Shop and praised Eileen Gu, the Olympic skier, for her meta cognitive ability.

When I heard that, I was dumbfounded by how much they endorsed the behavior because of how little they see it used.

Um... what...

And here I am, desperately trying to do it less.

Despite my best efforts, my inclination to ask myself "why" rivals that of a particularly tenacious toddler. My condition is completely self-inflicted. Understandably, my therapist and I joke that I need to practice putting down the shovel instead of digging myself deeper into a hole in my quest for answers. And at the same time, it's incredibly frustrating. It's not like I need to know—I'm actually extremely comfortable with ambiguity. It's the many possible answers and various angles of inquiry that I find myself addicted to.

I'm not the only one, either. Sakichi Toyoda, the founder of Toyota, created The Five Whys method for discovering root cause in the 1930s. Turns out, I was born and bred to search for root cause.

Cresting the top of the hill, I adjust my stride without slowing down so I can catch my breath. I steer my thoughts toward what I'm feeling rather than what I'm thinking or how much I'm thinking it. Like I've been practicing.

I don't know why I think about thinking so damn much, but I do know what I'm feeling. And that's a huge win for a guy who's been trying to do just that by thinking less in order to make space for it.

Still plopping one foot in front of the other, what I'm feeling is... accomplished.

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Our Daily MAP Year Prompt
227/365

What are you trying to make space for these days?

onward.

For more on this daily column and The MAP Year Project, read the backstory here. And if you know someone who'd appreciate this, pass it along.