Instead of deleting myself from the internet.
On any given day, I’m somewhere between deleting myself from the internet and knowing that I’ll show up again tomorrow because consistency works.
Chatting with a friend yesterday over virtual coffee, our conversation meandered through the usual life updates and general catch-up stuff. We've known each other for like a decade.
Glancing at the screen, I saw he was looking at me but his eyes were unfocused. I know him well enough to know that when he does that, it's actually because he's focusing. He's picturing the way all the things connect in his mind—like a virtual chess board, or the holographic screen where Robert Downey Jr. controls Jarvis in the Ironman movies.
I do the same damned thing.
In fact, we basically took turns asking, imagining, and tossing new questions back-n-forth. That part's not uncommon. What is, though, is where we landed.
I was a bit surprised when we started weaving between the topic of my writing, my journey with the publication thus far, and what I see for those things down the road. It's just not something I talk about a whole lot. Not like this, anyway. Not about the reasons I've made changes to the brand regularly or about why I explicitly talk about some things while only implying others.
So I told him.
I told him how my readership skews female even when I talk a whole lot about modern masculinity. And how empathy's a huge part of what I talk about; but if you tell people it's a piece about empathy, they don't read it. Which is true, I've tried. The data's pretty clear about that.
Across from me, his unfocused/hyperfocused stare had given way to direct eye contact and small nods. Recognition. His face softened as he listened, and as I continued I was shocked at how clearly and confidently I'd been able to articulate those things.
When I told him I didn't care about trying to get people to like it anymore, that I just wanted to make it accessible, he sat back smiling. I kept going, surprising even myself when I said I'd found how I can help people in ways that line up with how I actually like to spend my time creating—that I'd keep writing even if the stats dip or people don't read it.
It was then my friend told me he was proud of me.
And so, while there are days of utter frustration, where open rates go down or people unsubscribe, and when deleting myself from the internet seems easier than continuing to pour myself into building a multi-media publication... there are also meaningful metrics that are harder to quantify, like getting messages from people about something I wrote that resonated with them. Like people subscribing because a friend forwarded my stuff to them.
And knowing I’ll show up again tomorrow.
Because consistency works.
Our Daily MAP Year Prompt
141/365
When you have an off day, are you able to zoom out and let yourself pick things up again tomorrow? Where'd you learn how to do that?
onward.
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