I didn't want to believe it.
I'm sitting in the doctor's office today, trying to get comfortable in one of those plastic chairs with the thin metal framing. You know—the dark blue ones? They look like they were built to stack on top of one another?
Across from me, my doctor's sitting by the window in a chair with wheels on it. Standing up next to him is resident who's shadowing for the day.
It took a moment to register what he'd just said, so I interrupted somewhat clumsily to ask, "wait, what?" He smiled knowingly. Then, he started from the top, changed his tone, and very empathetically explained to me the very thing I didn't want to hear.
"Coffee's undoubtedly making things worse" he said.
I groaned.
"You should seriously consider parting ways with it" he added.
Shit.
Shit. shit. shit. shit.
It's not like I hadn't suspected it. While I've cut back, my caffeine consumption is significant. Ugh. Moderation has never really been my thing, and consistency is one of my biggest blind spots. I knew I had to listen; it's a lesson I've already had to learn. And this time it's my health.
When I was a teenager, I worked as a ski and snowboard instructor after school and I'd freeride the terrain park when I didn't have any lessons to teach.
There'd been a stretch where I was teaching myself to hit park jumps switch that didn't uh... go so good. At least for a bit. I was working on switch 360s... and eating shit. A lot. The thing was that I was self-teaching beyond my ability level. My rotation would stall my mid-air, my shoulder would dip, I'd start rotating off-axis, and then I'd splat on the ground instead of landing on my feet.
I did this over and over and over. One night in particular, I was sure I'd broken my ribs. And, sitting in the doctor's office today, that's what I'm thinking of while sinking into that dumb plastic chair, facing the reality of saying goodbye to coffee.
It was one thing to keep hucking myself off a jump when I didn't know better, but another entirely to ignore feedback from someone who does.
How are you with accepting things you don't want to hear? Why?
onward.
For more on this daily column and The MAP Year Project, read the backstory here. And if you know someone who'd appreciate this, pass it along.