Other than the podcast I was listening to, the only sound I heard came from tires sloshing through the melted slush. Every now and then the steering wheel would pull, but the scarier part was when the tires would spin out on the ice.
The sun felt good on my face while I drove. It was warm, but it hasn't been. So a thin layer of invisible ice still covered the ground in pockets that hadn't melted off yet.
Through the speakers, Mark Manson's voice lolled back-n-forth. I've been taking a break from non-fiction lately, especially from self-help content. Mark's best known as the author of The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck, which places him squarely in that category. However; his monthly podcast, SOLVED, features thoroughly researched conversations debunking commonly misunderstood topics.
So I made an exception to my hiatus and listened to his latest on boundaries.
I've been avidly consuming books, podcasts, frameworks, and hot-takes from the cognitive/behavioral psych fields for more than a decade. In that time, I've put almost everything I've come across into practice for some amount of time to test its efficacy. So now, I'm always wary of claims about things I know I disagree with or that I believe to be misapplied.
"You use boundaries to protect your values, not your feelings."
Now, those words caught my attention. My head tilted in surprise, cocked to the side. I slid my sunglasses back into place and reached for the "back 15 seconds" button. I tapped it twice. Then I turned up the volume and listened to what might be Mark Manson's best take to date.
I find it so ironic that the guy who got famous "not giving a fuck" was advocating for giving all of the fucks right now. And I agreed with him. He's spot on about boundaries and their protection of values instead of feelings.
Listening to him cite Aristotle, I knew two things for certain.
He does that a lot, and he doesn't give a... care; he doesn't care.
Ahem.
I actually respect that. Sometimes he's a bonehead who likes to ruffle feathers just to hear people squawk, but, I listen for the validity of the points he's making. There are times where he's right and I'm wrong. This time, he's right and I agree.
One of Mark's boundaries is that he doesn't stay up/out past midnight to protect his early-morning solo time. What's one of yours?
onward.
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