I can't pinpoint exactly when, but something in me snapped. It just kind of... broke. And then it became one of those things you can't put back together. When that happens, you just have to learn to move on.
This moment happened pretty recently, actually. But it's one I'd been waiting on for about 28 years. So, good news: I finally stopped trying to get people to like me.
For years I thought I could force that change, only to end up disappointed. I wanted so badly to not give a shit about what people thought. I tried ruthlessly to trigger some sort of transformation in me. A few times I got close... but, obviously, that's not the same as getting past it.
Trying to win approval from others used to come from a place of not liking myself. But years ago when I started making substantial progress with rebuilding my mental health, my life started to flourish. So then it became about trying to help other people do the same.
Well, that became a trap. Because it was the same damn pattern of trying to get them to like me. Except, this time, it was about begging them to listen, instead. But I'm done convincing. I've spent years collecting knowledge and resources. Trying and failing. Falling flat on my face, then actually achieving the mountainous goals I'd set for myself.
In learning what worked and what didn't, I started trying to tell people about it with a real "no wait! listen" kind of vibe.
All done. No more.
Now, I'm curating instead. I'm just focused on making stuff I believe in using all that I've collected. Stuff I like. If others do too, great! If not, maybe someone else will.
What would you do if money, approval, or consequences weren't a factor?
That's what you should do even when they are.
onward.
-dmac